I am a single girl and while it does have its let downs occasionally I can't say I all together hate it. I love that I can just up and decide to go on a trip somewhere and don't have to check in with anyone. I love that I don't have to argue with someone about helping with the domestic chores. I can leave work and meet up with some co-workers or friends for a drink and again...no checking in or asking them to tag along. I can be as candid as I want about the dating world and do not have to worry about offending anyone. I am a happily, single girl! So why do people not believe me?
When I talk about my summer plans I bring up the fact that I am a bridesmaid in two weddings. I then get asked if I have kids? Nope! Married? Nope? Boyfriend? Nope! Then I get the look, and I know you know which look I am talking about. This comes from my family and friends of the family. When I see the look I give a huge, inward sigh because I know what's coming next.
Subject lines: biological clock, level at which my standards are, body images, mustn't be so picky...
It is time consuming, emotionally draining, and just plain frustrating. Just because I am single does not mean I am miserable!
I have been talking with my friends about this recently, trying to gain some insight and this is what we've come up with:
1) Our generation just doesn't make sense to them with regards to dating. Very few in my family have gone to college and have a career, especially the girls in our family. It is expected that I should have multiple children by this time in my life because, hey, they have. Things are a little different now. It takes time to go to school and establish a career, so I don't know what to tell you!
2) Guys are not aging accordingly! I swear to you they do not mature in the right direction, they are getting younger. I almost have to pull an Anna Nicole just to get a guy who is mature enough to be out of his mother's basement, can tell me any current even, has a job, doesn't have at least four baby-mamas, and doesn't have permanent damage to the thumb joint from excessive "gaming."
3) The "good ones" don't get thrown back. The sea of guys is thinning out because when a girl has found a keeper she doesn't cut him loose and hope for something better. We've been screwed over enough times in the dating world that when we see that glimmer of hope and possibility we turn into steel bear traps.
4) The media has ruined us! We grew up watching the Disney movies, reading Nicholas Sparks, and watching the Victoria's Secret models strut their stuff. So we are hopeful that someday our prince will come, we will find that someone who says to us "I want to do this because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday!" And we even think we have to look like those 15 feet tall, stick thin, freakishly pretty girls walking down that catwalk in order to get one of the good guys. Then to make matters worse Fifty Shades of Grey comes out.
So now I have to be 15 feet tall, stick thin, freakishly pretty, have the ability to balance on 6 foot tall stilettos, have a large dowry that only my father the King could provide, and have the ability to hold my own in the "red room of pain." And lets face it Nicholas Sparks is a one of a kind, that guy just doesn't exist. Unfortunately, guys just don't speak like that anymore.
I am 5'2'', curvy, will break my ankle just looking at the shoes those models wear, have to work for a living, and some of the things that go on in the "red room of pain" freaks me out a little. You can't really explain these things to your Great Aunt Ida and telling your mom to either throw out the biological clock so she doesn't hear it anymore or adopt another child seems a bit disrespectful so here I am; the single girl!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
So...It's been a while...
I had intended on making this blog all about books. I have taken on a bit more than I could chew with regards to intending to keep this blog active and start GRADUATE SCHOOL! Yeah, I know, a little over ambitious. While reading has not fallen by the wayside for me, not sure I would even know how to set it aside for long periods of time, I have been neglecting my blog (so shameful). I still think I will address books but would also like to treat this blog as many have intended them to be...sharing my views in general.
Some of the oddest things happen to me. I am not sure if I just happen to have a welcome sign that hovers over my head but fruitcakes of the world happen to gather near me. To set the tone for you let me share an example. While I was going through nursing school I worked at a gas station. My shift often equated to the night shift, which was actually kind of perfect because I got paid to study on some nights. Anyway, I was working and a guy who was probably in his 50's comes in. Now we had a radio playing most times and Queen happened to be playing at this particular time. The song..."Fat bottom girls." Now I am a curvy chic, no doubt about it, and happened to have gained some weight during nursing school; only adding to my curve factor. Where do I add on the pounds...hips and thighs of course!
So this stranger gathers his items throughout the store, comes to the counter, smiles at me and says "you know they made this song about girls like you." Are you serious? Who says things like this to any girl, let alone a perfect stranger? All I could do was stare at him. I eventually smiled at him, totaled his purchase, and sent him on his way. It has been nearly 8 years since this has happened to me but something like that just sort of sticks with a girl.
The incident that has prompted me to write this is a complete, random, act of craziness. I was at Barnes and Noble, surprise-surprise, and some guy I have never seen before (as a side note I was in the wedding isle because I am in two weddings this summer and was asked by one of the brides to grab a book for her while I was there) came up to me and said "you know marriage isn't a guarantee, if you are looking for that go get a car battery." WHAT? Who says things like this to people they don't know? I gave him an odd look that said if you don't make any sudden movements maybe the crazy person wouldn't startle and charge. He chuckled and walked away. One of the employees was stocking the shelves down that isle and turned to me and asked if he was a friend of mine. I shook my head and said "definitely not." She looked doubtful but what can you do? Most people do not just randomly walk up to you and say such odd things.
So my question about this situation is: is this a form of turrets, regrets, experience, or just crazy guy stuff? I suppose it is the unpredictable that adds a little spice to life. However, I am not sure I want the fruitcake spice quite so strongly mixed with my portion of life.
As a book note, I am currently reading the Anita Blake Series by Laurell K. Hamilton. The first two books did not really grab my attention, mostly because Anita Blake, the protagonist of the story, was sort of annoying. To be honest it is the supporting characters she comes in contact with that mold who she "really is" or "should be." I am currently reading book #12 and things have gone in a slightly different direction, not necessarily bad just different. I am glad I took my friend's encouragement into consideration and kept reading the books, because book #3 really starts to show the series for what it is. Maybe this is where Hamilton hit her stride or just really came into her voice. Perhaps she was not sure where she wanted Anita's character to go or what she should develop into. Either way the 3rd book started to feel more solid and the story has built from there.
For those who encounter the odd on a regular basis, good luck! I hope you get a lot of spice in your life for enduring such goings on. As far as books go...enjoy!
Some of the oddest things happen to me. I am not sure if I just happen to have a welcome sign that hovers over my head but fruitcakes of the world happen to gather near me. To set the tone for you let me share an example. While I was going through nursing school I worked at a gas station. My shift often equated to the night shift, which was actually kind of perfect because I got paid to study on some nights. Anyway, I was working and a guy who was probably in his 50's comes in. Now we had a radio playing most times and Queen happened to be playing at this particular time. The song..."Fat bottom girls." Now I am a curvy chic, no doubt about it, and happened to have gained some weight during nursing school; only adding to my curve factor. Where do I add on the pounds...hips and thighs of course!
So this stranger gathers his items throughout the store, comes to the counter, smiles at me and says "you know they made this song about girls like you." Are you serious? Who says things like this to any girl, let alone a perfect stranger? All I could do was stare at him. I eventually smiled at him, totaled his purchase, and sent him on his way. It has been nearly 8 years since this has happened to me but something like that just sort of sticks with a girl.
The incident that has prompted me to write this is a complete, random, act of craziness. I was at Barnes and Noble, surprise-surprise, and some guy I have never seen before (as a side note I was in the wedding isle because I am in two weddings this summer and was asked by one of the brides to grab a book for her while I was there) came up to me and said "you know marriage isn't a guarantee, if you are looking for that go get a car battery." WHAT? Who says things like this to people they don't know? I gave him an odd look that said if you don't make any sudden movements maybe the crazy person wouldn't startle and charge. He chuckled and walked away. One of the employees was stocking the shelves down that isle and turned to me and asked if he was a friend of mine. I shook my head and said "definitely not." She looked doubtful but what can you do? Most people do not just randomly walk up to you and say such odd things.
So my question about this situation is: is this a form of turrets, regrets, experience, or just crazy guy stuff? I suppose it is the unpredictable that adds a little spice to life. However, I am not sure I want the fruitcake spice quite so strongly mixed with my portion of life.
As a book note, I am currently reading the Anita Blake Series by Laurell K. Hamilton. The first two books did not really grab my attention, mostly because Anita Blake, the protagonist of the story, was sort of annoying. To be honest it is the supporting characters she comes in contact with that mold who she "really is" or "should be." I am currently reading book #12 and things have gone in a slightly different direction, not necessarily bad just different. I am glad I took my friend's encouragement into consideration and kept reading the books, because book #3 really starts to show the series for what it is. Maybe this is where Hamilton hit her stride or just really came into her voice. Perhaps she was not sure where she wanted Anita's character to go or what she should develop into. Either way the 3rd book started to feel more solid and the story has built from there.
For those who encounter the odd on a regular basis, good luck! I hope you get a lot of spice in your life for enduring such goings on. As far as books go...enjoy!
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